mercyrobot: (jw piano)
[personal profile] mercyrobot

Er, I think I'll just hand these over without further commentary. *flees*

Previous efforts || Table of doom

5. In which we mangle a spot of Byron and have an ouchy sort of misunderstanding (sort of):
~1000 words, rated PG with apologies to Lord B.
Octosyllabic

6. In which the author takes the prompt quite literally and attempts to make up for having hurt your feelings:
~700 words, rated R for implied bedroom hijinks and SC for slight crack.
Attire )


Octosyllabic

All I can offer in my own defence is that I was fried to the tonsils at the time and not thinking clearly. It was during one of those interminable periods of purgatory-- or perhaps it's limbo-- more commonly known as Jeeves's annual holiday. I always make my best go at bearing up admirably under these circs, but I've never lasted even close to the full fortnight without finding myself a mere shadow of what was and pining for the good old days.

On this particular occasion, said pining had led to rather a drowning of sorrows alongside several sympathetic pals at the Drones and continued long after I'd been poured into a cab and rowed homewards. It speaks rather strongly to my sorry state that I suddenly found myself thinking of some bit of something I'd read that reminded me quite keenly of the absent Jeeves. Without him there to give advice, of course, I made rather a disaster zone of the bookcases before I found it.

Well, I'd nearly found it. It was just about perfect, this bit of verse, except that it was about a girl. As topping a lass as Byron had ever known, I'm sure, but it wouldn't do. The slightly-soaked brain muscle was struck by the inspiration to remedy the oversight, so I hunted up pen and paper and got to remedying. My version of the thing ran thus:

He walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meets in his aspect and his eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er his face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,--
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.

Admittedly, it was just the same but for the odd he or his bunged in where a she or her had been, and some of it was a bit flowery for my taste, but the bits about eloquent brows and grace were just the stuff for the troops, and on reading it over once or twice with the image of floaty females expunged, I felt not quite so terribly alone for a few moments.

At some wee hour I came back to my senses and shoved the thing between the book's pages. The substitute valet (a pale imitation) Jeeves had engaged for the duration cleared the books up on the 'morrow, and I rather forgot all about it.

I forgot so completely, in fact, that when some months later Jeeves asked to borrow the volume in q. I thought nothing of it and airily told him to have at it.

It was only when he presented me with the scrawled-over stationery that Bertram was cast deeply into a new and unique brand of soup.

"I wondered if you wished to keep this, sir," he said with as rum a look as I've ever seen on him, holding the page by its corner as though it were soaked in acid or had little horseshoes printed on it.

The events of the night I'd copied it down came hazily back to me. "No, I don't suppose I need it now," I said. After all, I had no need for imaginary Jeeveses with the real thing front and centre, and it hadn't done much for me anyway.

He made a sort of 'hm' noise and seemed to chew over what he was about to say before he said it. What he said at last was, "If I may make an observation, sir?"

"Observe away, Jeeves," said I.

"You have transcribed Lord Byron's poem with masculine pronouns, sir. Perhaps you misread it?"

"No, it was on purpose," I said with a wave of the hand. "You were off on your holiday, you know, and it sort of reminded me of you but for the female object, so I changed it a bit."

His whole whatsit changed. Countenance, mien, expression-- whatever it was, it altered like I'd never seen it alter, not dissimilar to Zeus or whoever it was getting himself up as a swan. "Sir," he said, and to my surprise was suddenly very, very close to me and conducting a distinct wrapping-round of arms. "I often wondered, but I never dared hope...."

What was about to be a 'steady on, Jeeves,' or similar exclamation-- for there are liberties and then there are liberties-- died on my lips, as said lips were covered by other lips. Jeeves's, to be precise. The Wooster bean is not ordinarily up to quick thinking, but as the fellow I tend to leave the quick thinking to was the one causing the need for it, it managed to come up with the goods. Jeeves had misunderstood me so utterly it was nearly laughable, but I doubted he'd want to be laughed at just now. While I'd been thinking of gliding walks and serene thoughts, of domestic harmony and everything just so, he'd concentrated on the loving hearts and sweet dearness, and had apparently been hoping for some declaration of this s. d. from me for some time.

Well, I mean to say, what? What could I do? If I stopped him and set the facts straight, he'd no doubt be ten streets away before I'd finished getting the words out. I'd been poised to marry the likes of Glossops and Bassetts for smaller cases of mal-compris. And for heaven's sake, this was Jeeves. I was already signed up for life, and happily so, which was more than I could say for any past applicants. The same went for the kissing business. It wasn't one of these sloppy affairs with squashed noses and bumping teeth, and he was warm and it was nice and I found it all a bit stirring quite despite myself.

If he loved me, if this wondrous marvel actually for some mysterious reason loved this bumbling, bungling Wooster, I was the worst of all fools to do anything but learn to return it in spades.




6. In which the author takes the prompt quite literally and attempts to make up for having hurt your feelings:
~700 words, rated R for implied bedroom hijinks and SC for slight crack.

Attire


I bet you think I've got an easy life, don't you? Just hang about, go for a stroll about town once in a while, come back home and get put to rights.

Shows what you know. They never take me anywhere. I can't remember the last time I felt a nice breeze or sunshine, or even saw anything but the inside of the bedroom when I'm not just lying in the dark waiting and waiting.

Perhaps I shouldn't complain; I've got a brother who went to live with a fishmonger. But I've got needs, damn it! If you prick me, I do-- well, I don't bleed, I'll grant you, but it still jolly well hurts!

I thought I'd fallen into a sure thing when Bertie found me, when he ran those smooth long fingers over me and said, "This one."

And for that first day, I was a star. Clubs, golf games, luncheons, and praise everywhere I went. I had Arrived, I thought.

How wrong I was! I should have known it the moment Jeeves picked me up in that rude way-- he should know better!-- and said, "No, sir, I can't say it becomes you."

Well, I'd been smiled down at and lovingly stroked all day long, so surely Bertie would leap to my defence. I knew Jeeves's type. More than one relation of mine has been party to an act of defiance against one of his ilk.

Nothing doing! Old Paisley was blackballed then and there. Just my luck to go home with one of these spineless toffs who let everyone else tell them what to do. Such hopes I'd had! The places we could have gone! But my dreams were crushed with one, "Oh, all right, I won't wear it."

"Bingo liked me!" I cried. "Give me to Bingo! He'll appreciate me properly!" But they didn't hear me. They never hear me.

"I believe we may find some use for it, sir."

I barely had time not to like this Jeeves's tone, for the next thing I knew, I was twisted and pulled in the most awful way-- mind the stitches, my lad!-- choked into a mockery of a horrid schoolboy four-in-hand and wrenched round a bedpost! A bedpost, I tell you! A wrist as well, but what do they take me for? One hears about such things, but you never think it'll happen to you. We don't go in for anything like this on Savile Row!

As for Bertie, or Sir, or whatever his name is, I saw now how fatally wrong I'd been about him. He didn't spare one single though for me or the poor Purple Stripe on the other arm. He just lay there whimpering and carrying on, tugging and twisting and strangling me half to death while Jeeves did things I thankfully couldn't see.

I could hear them well enough, though-- ohs and ahhs and yesyesrighttheres in between the most appalling smacking and slurping and heavy breathing. Then it was pleasepleasenow and the most frightful row of squeaking and creaking, and if I thought the crude knot had hurt, it had not a patch on Sir Bertie grabbing up my tails and pulling on them with his whole weight-- I swear I felt threads pop.

When it was over, Jeeves let me loose with surprising gentleness. "I believe I may have tied them too tightly," he said. Was he sorry? He sounded sorry.

Oh, but not for poor old Paisley, no! All that oh-my-poor-darling business wasn't for me. I was simply left trying not to fall on the floor while Bossy put his mouth to Fathead's wrists with no thought to my precarious-- ouch!

The floor and I had a long time to get acquainted, because there were noises again. More in way of murmurs and sighs this time, horrible soppy lovey-dovey stuff.

Then to add insult to injury, I was replaced not in my prime wardrobe real estate, but in a dark little drawer with the most motley and common lot. A crop, a feather duster, what I think may have been a table tennis paddle, some sort of stick-- the indignity, I tell you! P. Stripe came along, wheezing and limp and vastly the worse for wear, a frightening mirror into my future. I would have shivered if I could.

No, mine is no easy life. I think they'd do me a kindness if they just left me for the rag-pickers. At least Dove Grey can't see me now. 'How far the mighty have fallen,' he'd say in that supercilious way of his. How far, indeed.

Date: 2009-04-02 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady529.livejournal.com
Thought you said the second one was to cheer us up! *cuddles poor Paisley*

Brilliantly written, though..

The Lady 529

Date: 2009-04-02 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Eek! I didn't mean to make anyone feel sorry for it! It might help if you imagine it being read aloud by the Hilarious British Person of Your Choice. (Mine was actually some Boffle vox pop incarnation of Hugh.)

Date: 2009-04-02 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady529.livejournal.com
I still feel sorry for poor Paisley though.. Maybe he can learn to appreciate being such a useful item to the two gentlemen?

And ooh, ooh, which one? *bounces on sofa*

The Lady 529

Date: 2009-04-02 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Hee! It's either one of the chavvy girls or the 'you eat your dinner off this' guy, but I don't have the episodes to check them.

Date: 2009-04-02 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] storyfan.livejournal.com
The tie story is just classic. I never wondered what the ties thought of all these shenanigans, but now I know. That had to have been so much fun to write. Bossy and Fathead! Too funny.

Date: 2009-04-02 07:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
It totally was fun. And sort of weird because I was sitting there with my coffee this morning debating whether or not a tie can become sexually aroused. O_o

Date: 2009-04-02 06:26 pm (UTC)
ext_204191: (Default)
From: [identity profile] charie-caphine.livejournal.com
1. Flawless in every way, to be framed and put on a wall in a prominent place. So warm and smooth, and believable and worded just so, and perfect.
2. Ouch! Nice and classic, indeed. Although now, I think, I'll be trifle weary for a while of what do my own articles of clothing feel or hear - a disquieting prospect.

Date: 2009-04-02 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Really? Flawless? Wow, thank you! ♥
Oh, lor, I'd hate to think of the inner monologue of my boots or something. I had no idea people would feel so bad for Paisley!
Edited Date: 2009-04-02 07:34 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-04-02 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mxdp.livejournal.com
Octosyllabicis possibly an unique fic. Jeeves, overjoyed and madly in love, and Bertie who loves him also, but not quite the same way (yet). It's a lovely misunderstanding, that ends well. (thank you for not doing the cliché "...and I suddenly realized that this Wooster was passionately in love with his valet as well!"
No, you haven't hurt my feeling the lightest. ^^
But I can pretend, if you wish, because the poor Paisly fic? Well, my grin does not fit my face. ^^

Date: 2009-04-02 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
I figure Bertie's slow enough on the uptake that the sudden realization approach can and does work, but it can get a bit tired and didn't really feel right to me here. And in case you couldn't tell, I'm rather a fan of taking 'traditional' plotlines and turning them on their heads.

Glad you liked! And that you were amused by poor old Paisley. :D

Date: 2009-04-02 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] closetofheroes.livejournal.com
Oh wow - that was fantastic! I'm laughing right now from the excellent tie-pov. 'At least Dove Grey can't see me now' - that was brilliant. I'm going to be laughing about that one for a while.

But the first piece was distinctly moving. There were points where, had I been writing it, things might have gone a bit differently - a bit more reluctance from Bertie creating more angst, for example, but that would have created a much longer tale, and in the end all I wanted was more.

Date: 2009-04-02 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thank you, thank you! I'm in full agreement about Octo. having loads of room for more, but that's the thing about quickie ficlets. I'm highly inclined to expand on it at some point, but one thing at a time.

Date: 2009-04-02 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] innocentsmith.livejournal.com
Oh, I absolutely adore the first! How sweet and lovely, and yes, I can totally see it happening just that way. ♥

And the second is, of course, hilarious. And also sweet, with the wrist-kissing, even if the viewpoint on it isn't terribly sympathetic. Hee!

Date: 2009-04-02 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thank you! And good to hear some of the emotion came through in Attire despite being described by an inanimate object with a chip on its shoulder, if it has a shoulder. ;)

Date: 2009-04-02 09:20 pm (UTC)
blackletter: (Default)
From: [personal profile] blackletter
1. Leave it to Bertie to accidently give someone the impression that he's head over h. in love. So in character for him.

2. I have no words. I'm too busy cracking up. (I'm a cold-hearted, sadistic bastard who laughs seeing ties in pain.)

Date: 2009-04-02 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thanks! Embarrassingly, that angle didn't even occur to me till after the fact, when I pointed at it and went, 'Ooh! I was clever there!'

Heh. Your schadenfreude is appreciated.

Date: 2009-04-02 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hazeltea.livejournal.com
I cracked up at "Bingo liked me!" Of course he would XD

Sweet and lovely, as always.

Date: 2009-04-02 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Poor Bingo, branded for life as a horrid-tie fancier. :P
Thanks!

Date: 2009-04-02 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaoticchaos13.livejournal.com
The first one is just...really, it was said before, unique, and just perfect. They shouldn't just fall into each others' arms all the time!

POOR PAISLEY! Bossy really doesn't have enough respect for such topping ties. And Fathead is such a cad!

Date: 2009-04-02 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thankies! And to think I was sitting there trying to decide whether or not I hated it. Falling-into of arms has its place, but sometimes they ought to have to work for it a bit. ;)

Someone may be reporting me to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Neckwear.

Date: 2009-04-02 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niektete.livejournal.com
BWA HA HA HA!!! *cackles* I laughed well and good at poor Paisley! And the "yesyesrighttheres" put me in the mood for some good pornage, too XD

Date: 2009-04-02 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Glad to give you a laugh! I swear one of these will be properly porny. At some point.

Date: 2009-04-03 12:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nox-candida.livejournal.com
1. Wow. This is such an interesting take on how they could end up together. Honestly, I can't decide if I think it's utterly sweet or possibly tragic, because if Jeeves were to ever find out about the "mix up" it would kind of break my heart, I think. lol, I mean, I think it's clear that Bertie does love Jeeves (and probably will go to be in love with him), but I can't help but feel that sort of almost-pang of how it could turn out--if that makes sense, lol. But I have to agree with a lot of others and say that it's really nice that Bertie isn't all, "OMG, all of a sudden I realize I'm in love with Jeeves and have been all along!" Not to say that there's no room for that in this fandom (because, honestly, Bertie is pretty clueless most of the time), but I just liked seeing something different. Anyway, I say all that to say that I really, really like this one, precisely because it's both unique and somewhat ambiguous (but I do like a happy ending, so I'll pretend that it has one ;) ).

2. LMAO!! So clever and awesome and hysterical. lol, wonderful job on the unique pov and how snarky and indignant it is. lol, I love it. :)

Ah, these are so exciting to see! I'm really glad you're doing these as they're so much fun to read. Looking forward to more. :)

Date: 2009-04-03 01:24 am (UTC)
ext_204191: (Default)
From: [identity profile] charie-caphine.livejournal.com
I'd call it a very happy resolution already (just uncommonly realistic), that with Bertie deciding to give it a go and especially being 'stirred despite himself'. He shows promise, painted in the story (by my impression) as a chap who is not particularly interested in romance overall, which I find rather in character, by the way.
For some reason, I don't think Jeeves would mind if he finds out some day how the whole situation was born out of an accident.

Date: 2009-04-03 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nox-candida.livejournal.com
Yeah, I think you're right that it's a happy resolution, I just sort of feel there's this very slight tinge of possible sadness because of what could happen. lol, I definitely agree that Bertie being interested to try is not only promising, but also in character--it's just I can't help thinking (lol, and this might be the angsty-ish person in me) wondering what Jeeves' reaction would be were he to know what Bertie's thinking. lol, I think you'd be right about Jeeves not really minding (especially if Bertie does ending up in love with him--which I think would happen), but I think his reaction might be different if it doesn't turn out so rosy--for instance, if Bertie finds he couldn't fall in love with Jeeves after all. lol, all very far-fetched given the story that was written, but my mind couldn't help but go there, I guess. lol, but then, I'm (occasionally) a sucker for angst like that. :)

Date: 2009-04-03 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
I'm not going to step in and say, "Well, I intended blah," because in the end it doesn't matter. But I want you both to know how massively and ridiculously happy it made me to have something I wrote cause discussion. ♥♥

Date: 2009-04-03 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] triedunture.livejournal.com
The poor dear tie! I loved it.

Date: 2009-04-03 06:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thanks! ♥

Date: 2009-04-03 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purplefluffycat.livejournal.com
What a super pair of ficlets!

As others have said, the conclusion of the first really was refreshingly different. I loved the way that it twisted so unexpectedly, but didn't give in to the customary Angst (with a capital A!) that is often written when the boys take a while to align their feelings. So much of life is indeed a quiet compromise - or a *blink* followed by 'I guess I'll see where this goes,' and this fic captures that sense beautifully.

The second was super also - but I'm afraid I'm going to join the chorus of people feeling sorry for poor old, abused Paisley! He should definitely be adopted by Bingo *nods*. - But - that aside - it was both tender and hilarious, and I'm very impressed by the degree of Jeeves' and Bertie's characters your managed to communicate via an inanimate 3rd person POV.

Brava!

PurpleFluffyCat x

Date: 2009-04-03 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thank you! Quiet compromise, I think that fits really well. And dude, Angst is SO HARD to do from Bertie's POV. For one thing, you kind of hate to make him sad (much like certain articles of neckwear, apparently), and even when he's sad the way he tends to phrase things is mildly comical. I have such massive respect for anyone who can manage a seriously-angstified Bertie and keep him IC.

Date: 2009-04-03 02:38 am (UTC)
ext_24392: (Dark Fae Girl)
From: [identity profile] random-nexus.livejournal.com
The first was just... so Bertie! And the ending! *giggle* Making the best of the situation, eh? *chortle!*
Adorable.

And the second!!! *blushy grin* Love play from the perspective of the accouterments!

I heap praise all over you.
With sprinkles.

Date: 2009-04-03 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Happy you enjoyed them, and yay for sprinkles! *is cupcake-like*

Date: 2009-04-03 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reginaldrobot.livejournal.com
I also loved the originality of both fics, the first in re. Jeeves' reaction, and the poem as well, and the second was v. amusing, both brilliant xD

Date: 2009-04-03 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reginaldrobot.livejournal.com
As an afterthought: Added to memories, + mind if I friend + I'm so sodding behind in praising good Jooster fic lately.

Date: 2009-04-03 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thanks very much! And no, I don't mind at all. I tend to enjoy it, actually. :)

Date: 2009-04-03 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feanix.livejournal.com
Ah, a most excellent idea...If only the rest of Bertie's clothing could talk, eh? ;)

Date: 2009-04-03 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Now imagining fic from POV of Bertie's pants...

And then, rude as you please, down came an enormous hand and stretched me even further out of shape!

Er. Maybe not. :P

Date: 2009-04-04 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] feanix.livejournal.com
Uh, I think we may have gone too far...

Date: 2009-04-03 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starlightkissu.livejournal.com
These are superb. Attire was faboo.

__"Bingo liked me!" I cried. "Give me to Bingo! He'll appreciate me properly!" But they didn't hear me. They never hear me.___

That line made me laugh and made me sad. At the same time

Date: 2009-04-03 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thank you! It does have an element of the tragic to it. I'm beginning to feel like I need to go and buy a paisley tie and be very nice to it by way of reparations.

Date: 2009-04-03 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notchka88.livejournal.com
I read this, but totally forgot to comment. The first one is sad and plausible, which makes it even sadder. Poor Jeeves.

Date: 2009-04-06 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
It's okay, I totally failed to reply! It's interesting to see the split opinion on the happiness or sadness of it. I meant it to be ambiguous, but of course I'd rather be optimistic.

Date: 2009-04-04 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunquistadora.livejournal.com
Poor tie! (Though it really should realize it's in a rather enviable posish...)
Loving the fics!

Date: 2009-04-06 02:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Enviable indeed! Ringside seat for the action. ;)

Date: 2009-04-06 08:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ironicbees.livejournal.com
Maybe it's just my crappy mood, but the first one makes me sad for Jeeves. I'll just have to trust that Bertie will indeed grow to love him in the same way.

The second one was very happy-making. :D

Date: 2009-04-06 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
I meant for the future of it to be open to interpretation, so yeah. I don't know that anybody's ever really written the 'it all goes horribly and permanently wrong' scenario. It'd be interesting, but I'm not sure I want half the fandom after me with spears. ;)

I'm glad the other one cheered you up, anyhow!

Date: 2009-06-15 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queen-fiend.livejournal.com
I've been reading through these fraglets of yours, and I think these two are my favourites so far. I agree with several others that the first one is refreshingly different. I think Bertie definitely loves Jeeves, but the fact that he might love him differently than Jeeves loves him (at least at first) is interesting. I'm going to imagine a very happy ending for both of them. ;)

And the second one, oh my god. Fantastic. XD What a great idea, to do a sex seen from the point of view of a tie. A hot one, I might add. ;)

Date: 2009-06-17 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Yes, I imagine a happy ending for them in the first one too, but sometimes I feel like playing with the 'what if it all went horribly wrong' idea.

And I'm still astonished at all the love for the cracky tie fic. :P
Thank you!

Date: 2011-04-15 04:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kurage-no-hone.livejournal.com
I've been reading my way through your Jeeves and Wooster fic, and loving it to pieces (Sorting out the Dance Card, OMG! Best thing ever or bestest thing ever? I'm pretty sure "bestest" is the correct answer.)

But this pair of ficlets may well be the second-bestest thing ever. The first one is brilliantly original, and achingly bittersweet (although I choose to believe that it all works out and Bertie boards the clue-boat sooner or later, and then he and Jeeves are TRUE L♡VE, complete with hearts and fairy-bunnies and happily-ever-afters). And the second one . . . well, all I can say is that it's hilarious. And also that it's weirdly, sweetly hot. (Paisley may not appreciate his new drawer-mates, but I sure as heck do.)

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