It's a post. A posty post.

[mercyrobot]

0. Mostly, I wanted to show off this icon I made. *points*

1. Writer's block like whoa. I get like one sentence out and get distracted by something shiny. My brain's doing something that goes a little bit like Trek! Jooster! Joostertrek! No, wait! Fireflytrek! TorchJooster! Ianto is Jeeves and they're on the Enterprise and run into Serenity! And what about that thing where Jeeves had a secret wife? Ducky? Ducky who? ARGFARGLEVALETSPACE. Yeah. That's what my head sounds like on the indoors.

2. KINGDOM. Was great. Is great. Is being great. Oh Lyle. *looks at watch* Hey, next week! Get here with new ep plz. When does Peter get a boyfriend? Wishful thinking, I know.

3. Well, it would be a pretty lame list if it only had two things on it.....


Um. Make me write porn. Prompts. Issue them now. Maybe with word count limits.

ETA 6/10: I am exhausted and falling asleep. Ficlettings to continue on the morrow.

Comments

[waqaychay.livejournal.com]

500 words of jeeves and bertie talking to river aboard serenity. go! ;D

[thirstyrobot.livejournal.com]

Done and done! Totally not porn, but words is words. ;)


"Specific dream rabbit," River says, looking straight through Bertie.

Bertie squirms under the penetrating gaze, wondering if the girl's got some aunt in her or if she's just stark-raving.

One of Jeeves's eyebrows climbs towards a less-than-usually kempt hairline.

"You're his, he's yours," she says back and forth between them, as though speaking to excessively dim children. She shakes her head in a lord-what-fools sort of way. She captures a surprised Bertie's hand and starts to a song there's no way she can know.

Dashed unnerving, Bertie thinks later, once Simon's explained, to have someone learn the fox-trot straight out of one's head. But he does his due diligence and dances with her, never one to refuse a lady. He nearly (only nearly) trips over his own feet when River pirouettes round and round and twirls him straight into Jeeves, still singing high and mad and haunting but my baby don't want nobody but me.

Jeeves looks approbrious, his every thread proclaiming that such things are Not Done, but they are in space, on a spaceship, and Bertie's sheepish smile is no less effective for it as he shrugs his 'what's a chap to do' and holds out his hands. As Bertie was once told, the man swings a dashed efficient shoe. There's no discussion about who will lead but it's Jeeves that does, and it doesn't feel as off as it should.

Jeeves excuses himself stiffly as soon as River stops singing.

She giggles at his retreating back.

"What on earth is so funny?" Bertie asks, piqued.

River giggles and giggles. "Nature's bachelor," she croaks out at last, smirking to win a pageant.

"Chow!" Kaylee calls before Bertie can formulate a response.

Meals are his least favourite time. Bertie has the vague sense that Mal and Jayne might shoot him at any moment, and that if he's too chummy with Kaylee they'll be having one of those weddings captains can perform, and speaking of auntly personages, Zoe shares not a few traits with several of them. Simon and Wash he likes; Wash is the sort of chap it's impossible not to like, and Simon's the sort of chap he's used to running across. Book seems nearly as put out as Bertie is that Jeeves isn't making an appearance for dinner.

Inara is nothing short of terrifying, for some reason especially so when she loads up a tray and says, "I'll take this up to Jeeves. He must be hungry."

Bertie startles from his chair. "No!" he exclaims as it slaps to the floor behind him. "Erm. That is-- I mean to say-- you being a lady and all. I ought to do it."

He meets with no protest, and more than one knowing female smile as he takes the tray and stumbles his way through railings and decks.

Jeeves answers his knock in that funny Chinese they speak that sounds like a toast to Bertie's ears. He shoves the door aside with his foot to find Jeeves in his shirtsleeves, rising from the small bed.

"You should not have troubled yourself, sir," Jeeves says, using that kindly tone he takes on when Bertie's done something especially daft. "I find myself not particularly hungry."

Bertie sets the tray down on the bedside table, thinking with a pang of London and breakfast trays and sunshine. "Was dancing with me as bad as all that?" he asks, very interested in the floor.

"No, sir."

Bertie jerks his head up and wonders how he could have missed this before.

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

\o/ heeeee!

[waqaychay.livejournal.com]

if jeeves and bertie really had been aboard serenity, it would have been JUST LIKE THIS. :DDDD

[reginaldrobot.livejournal.com]

You should write about Peter getting a boyfriend :p I don't know about length limits.

[thirstyrobot.livejournal.com]

I have no idea where this came from. Beatrice elbowed her way in. Still not porn.

Oh, um, and series 3 spoilers are hinted at kinda.

***

Beatrice continues to take it extremely personally that Peter would not find her a nice soldier to take to bed. It's the story of her life, isn't it, 'no, you can't, Beatrice,' and 'soldiers are not material objects, Beatrice.'

The problem, she decides, is that Peter has not had a good hard shag since probably sometime during the Thatcher government and has forgotten what it's like to enjoy himself. Not that she wants to think of her brother enjoying himself, but she's very good at not-thinking about things, even while causing them.

Except causing them turns out to be harder than she thought.

"What do you think you're doing?" Gloria asks as the third woman Beatrice has paraded in here leaves without Peter ever having registered that she's got tits.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm--"

Peter comes out of his office, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's very sweet of you, Beatrice, to try to find a date for Lyle, but I do wish you wouldn't send them round during working hours with flimsy cases. I'd like to get some use out of my junior partner, hmm?"

Petra starts screeching-- that's my girl!-- and Beatrice legs it.

Peter had a point, Beatrice thinks-- the young, fit women really were more Lyle's type. The shagging-over-the-desk type. Peter's more the dinner-and-a-show type. If he is a type, or has one. Simon would have known. Maybe.

She thinks she remembers something about a Leslie or a Laura in the Cambridge days. Not from Peter, of course. From overhearing Simon. Beatrice hauls Petra into the attic along with her and starts digging. There's nothing actually useful, just stupid hats and old essays scrawled over with just-short-of-glowing remarks.

Then it does get interesting, all in very quick succession. Beatrice finds a biscuit tin wrapped in a blue jumper. Petra begins to cry, startling Beatrice into dropping it. The tin crashes to the floor, spilling out letters and seashells and a photo of the jumper's owner, a smirking man with eyes the same colour. Beatrice registers what it is about the time Peter thuds in with a cut off, "Beatrice, what--"

They stare at each other across it. Peter doesn't look angry, at least. Petra's still wailing. Beatrice picks her up and rocks her and she keeps wailing. The wailing is different than the screeching. Screeching is for attention; wailing is for some need or other but aside from when nappies need changing Beatrice hasn't worked out what need the wailing is for. "What happened to him?" she asked. He must have died horribly and tragically, in the Falklands, maybe, or a car crash. A boating accident?

"He got married," Peter says. Nearly worse. "I didn't know that was still up here."

"Why didn't you tell me? You never tell me anything!" Beatrice snaps, and it stops Petra crying, at least.

"I honestly haven't thought about him in years, Beatrice."

"What about someone else?"

"Oh, yes. I think about you, and the baby, and Simon quite a lot--"

"Peter."

"No. Not in a long time."

"Why not?"

"Have you visited Market Shipborough?" Peter makes an expansive gesture. He has a point.

"Maybe Mr. Rowing Blues isn't married anymore," she says, waving the photo temptingly. "Go find him."

"Oh, don't be ridic--"

Beatrice smiles. "Just look him up." Somehow she's forgotten all about the soldiers.

[reginaldrobot.livejournal.com]

I love it love it LOVE it xD
Nevermind about any other fic, you must continue thiiiis. Peter needs some loving.

I adore how you write the characters, Beatrice was perfect, Peter, too. It would make such an awesome episode, Beatrice would soon have handsome men parading all over the place trying to get Peter's attention.

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

Now that I have a clue what Kingdom's all about, this A - makes more sense to me and B - is spiffish, indeed! IF you get a notion to continue, I'd be all for it!
\o/ belated woots!

[mxdp.livejournal.com]

KINGDOM FIC! Oh, Kingdom! *hugs it*

PS: You really should post this at the Kingdom comm as well. It's dying. :c

CONTINUE THIS. Please. Pleeeease.

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

What would happen if you crossed Capt. Jack from Torchwood & Mal from Firefly? After the snark fest would there be porn? Explore.

Good Gawdz, what would happen if you crossed Jeeves & Ianto? Preparing the perfect tea could totally be foreplay for these two.

Top of my head, late and half asleep, but still willing to fling prompts.

[thirstyrobot.livejournal.com]

Oyyy, hey now miss grabby pants. You can't have both! Pick one! ;)

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwww! *pout* I was gonna let you decide (secretly hoping you couldn't either and would do both *greedy grin*)

Well, I had to flip a coin to choose, and I'd like to see what you can do with Jeeves & Ianto, pretty please, ma'am!
:D

[hephaistia.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. You have writers block? Hope that goes away soon. I'm still waiting for that 'Bertie's nephew and lost Jeeves' thing.

The inside of your head sound pretty interesting. LOL.

[reginaldrobot.livejournal.com]

*agrees*

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

Sulu and Toshiko on a blind date (no doubt their friends were well-meaning)

or River and Spock having an argument

[thirstyrobot.livejournal.com]

Er, this is short and wonky, sorry. :P


Ridiculously awkward covers it fairly well. It was fine, even really quite nice, until Uhura dragged Spock away to parts unknown, followed by Scotty suddenly remembering some piece of equipment he needed to beam back up to turn off.

Sulu blinks. "I think we've been set up, Sato."

That's who she is now, Lieutenant Sato. The brilliant programmer in the short uniform. At least she's still brilliant here. At first Starfleet was a way to get access to tech and codes and give herself the best chance of running into someone, anyone who could help her. Now it's more the end than the means; like the uniform, she got used to it. She's content, in a way.

Though not just now. Sulu doesn't seem to want to be on a surprise date any more than she does, fortunately. "I had no idea they were planning that," she says. "I'm sorry."

His relief couldn't be more obvious. "Then you don't--?"

"No." Tosh smiles ruefully to show she's not insulted. "It's my fault, I think," she says. "I mentioned to Nyota that I haven't been on a date in three hundred years." It's a bit of a game sometimes, to tell the complete truth and watch it be laughed at as hyperbole.

Sulu laughs. "You look good for your age." He stands up and claps his hands once. "Well, we don't have to be on a date, but there's nothing that says we can't enjoy our last few hours of leave."

They play pool and Toshiko finally tries hypervodka. By the end of it she's pleasantly woozy and telling Torchwood stories, not that she mentions Torchwood by name. She does mention Owen, though, and Jack and Ianto and Gwen. She'll always miss them, but every day buries them a little further.

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

not sure what wonky is, but this was fantastic. thank you!

>hyperbole
*hugs Tosh*

at least they didn't lock you up, Tosh; there's that, I suppose.

[storyfan.livejournal.com]

I agree. The inside of your head needs careful examination simply because it's so interesting. Cool job on your little ficlet there.

[thirstyrobot.livejournal.com]

I think the operative words here are 'head' and 'needs' and 'examination.' :P

Thanks!

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

OH! I meant to say: OMG! LOVE YOUR ICON!!!!!!

[seularen.livejournal.com]

Bertie and Jim keep getting accidentally engaged to aliens; Jeeves and McCoy have to constantly rescue them and patch them up.

[thirstyrobot.livejournal.com]

Uhhhhh. This came out cracky. Which was probably inevitable. XD



"I'm gonna put the both of you on medical restriction from landing parties if you can't keep from riling up the locals," McCoy grumbled, tweezing a few gold threads out of a six-clawed gash on Jim's chest before irrigating it the old-fashioned way for punishment.

"Ow!" Jim complained. "Don't blame me, blame Wooster." He jerked his thumb at the Records officer.

"Well, Lieutenant?"

Wooster held up his bandaged hands. "I couldn't have known 'what ho' means 'please mob us like a bunch of bally locusts and rip our clothes off.'"

"Actaully, sir, in the Nulithian language, it means, 'I have come in search of many wives,'" said a voice from the doorway.

"Oh, thank you so very much, Jeeves," Wooster said, holding out his arms for the shirt Jeeves was carrying. "We've talked about telling me these things beforehand, haven't we?"

Jeeves helped Wooster into the shirt and smoothed his hair down. "An oversight on my part, sir. I apologise."

McCoy had long ago given up trying to remind Jeeves that he actually outranked Wooster. It was some cultural thing from their planet that he would never understand. Instead he just rolled his eyes and turned back to glaring at Jim. "So it was his fault this time. What about Rigel XI?"

"That wine was drugged!" Jim and Wooster said in unison.

McCoy groaned and jabbed each of them with an antibiotic hypo with much more force than necessary.

"Dammit, Bones!" Jim snapped, rubbing at his neck. "Status report, Mr. Jeeves."

"The Nulithian governors have agreed to the terms of the mining agreement," Jeeves said like it ought to have been obvious.

"Not that I'm complaining," Jim said, brows furrowed, "but how'd we get from the wife mob to diplomatic tranquility?"

"A regrettable oversight on my part, Captain. It was not until negotiations were closed that Lieutenant Uhura reminded me that 'very good, madam' might sound very much like the Nulithian phrase for 'intercourse with human males is quite painful.'"

McCoy bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Somebody ought to correct that."

"When we're far, far away," Jim said.

"If you have no further need for Lieutenant Wooster, Doctor?" Jeeves asked.

"No, go on. Make sure he gets some rest." Medical orders for the headache known as Wooster got followed a lot better if they were given to Jeeves, McCoy had learned after they'd been on the ship about a week. "What?" McCoy asked at the pensive look on Jim's face as Jeeves ushered Wooster out of sickbay.

"Oh, just wondering if Jeeves calls him 'sir' in bed." The grin was impish and adorable, but the mental image wasn't one he wanted of Wooster. Jeeves, maybe, but not Wooster.

"I hope you enjoy the company of your right hand for the next six months, 'cause I'm not gonna be able to get it up," McCoy growled, but doing it that close to Jim's ear made a liar out of him right then and there.

[chaoticchaos13.livejournal.com]

I have flagged this space as being obviously full of win.

PCO. (please carry on)

[chaoticchaos13.livejournal.com]

Er, and by flag I mean clicked track to follow this post like the creepy stalker I am.

Oh. And porny request?

500 words-ish. Bertie/Jeeves. Surprise piano-sex. At the Drones or at the flat, your choice.

[giglet.livejournal.com]

Oh *my*!

This is lovely, thank you!