mercyrobot: (roadtrip kiss)
[personal profile] mercyrobot
Title: You'd Save Me From the Aliens
Pairing: Dan/Jones
Rating: just shy of NC-17
Words: ~900
Summary: Just a hotel with no heat and some almost-porny ridiculousness.
Notes: Bon voyage, [livejournal.com profile] eggnogged! Who I hope gets to see this one way or the other before she goes, as I'm very eleventh-hour and full of fail. Unfortunately not terribly occasion-appropriate except that it's cold. This is set in early 1999 and takes place in Rennes, France, which you'd really only know if you've ever been there and had a galette saucisse, also known as The Best Thing You'll Ever Eat With a Hangover.
The masterlist to this universe is here.



Jones comes through the door with, thank fuck, what appears to be an electric heater. "'S the whole building," he says. "Best I can work out, something's gone wrong with the boiler and they can't sort it out till the morning. My crap French don't extend to technical furnace words. Neither'd reception girl's English. Gave me this, though, so we should be alright." Jones plugs the heater in and slides it up near the bed. He's already shivering again as he strips off his clothes. "Bloke ahead of me didn't get one, guess 'cause he went all red and kept calling this place a whorehouse."

"Bordel?" Dan says. "It's just a general expletive."

"Never heard Sandrine use it."

"She seems to favour putain." It's every third word out of her mouth. Dan likes Sandrine. She looks like she should be baking crumbles and knitting things for her children at university, not running a club. 

"I like the idea of people going round all 'oh, whorehouse, I've burnt the toast!'" Jones pulls his pants off and is under the covers too quickly for Dan to be able to admire the view. Then there are cold feet on his calves and cold hands on his stomach, cold lips and nose against his neck. "Mm, you're nice'n warm."

"I was." Even Jones's hair is cold, more so than Dan's probably is, as it's still damp with sweat from his gig. Dan feels a bit guilty for making Jones be the one to get up and go down to complain about the heating. Dan's French is better, but Reception Girl, despite seeing them stumble in two nights in a row falling all over each other, has been practically writing love letters to Jones. Who has decided that Dan's cock is a better place to warm his hands. "If I'd wanted a handjob from Frosty the Snowman--"

"That'd be well twisted, snowman bumming." He licks Dan's neck. At least his tongue is warm. "They'll heat up. Heat transfer, friction. Basic physics. I wonder what the specific heat of cock is."

"Not much." Dan spreads his legs and pulls Jones's head up to kiss him. Jones isn't really doing anything, just idly fondling Dan's balls and half-erect cock. Dan doubts he'll be able to get properly hard again for a while yet given how much he's had to drink and the hour Jones spent teasing him at the edge of climax until he finally came so hard he thought he might break. It was only then they'd noticed it was still freezing. It still feels good, though, the dull sweet ache of Jones's hands on him and the lazy aimless kissing that might be what he misses the most when they're in London and don't always have the time for this, let alone opportunity. Work and other people, people Dan has to see every day and doesn't know how to explain this to, always seem to get in the way. Jones's grandmother misunderstood them entirely, and Jones let her. It was easier. Almost too easy, a nice chat and tea and family and having his hand held and Violetta's quiet approval. It's easy to want when it's already assumed, and safe.

"I reckon if we weren't fucking before, we would be after this," Jones says with a smile against Dan's lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Classic, innit? Freezing to death in some cave, have to huddle together to share body heat."

"We're not in a cave, we're in a whorehouse."

"Imagination, Ashcroft." Jones's eyes and teeth sparkle like fairy lights in the dim. "Everyone knows you gotta get naked, more skin to warm up that way."

"Have you been reading that Star Trek shit again?"

Jones laughs. "That was a fucking accident and you know it! I'll never be able to look at Spock the same way again. But yeah, you'd be all delirious and dying of alien bites and shit, talkin' nonsense and having sexy fever dreams and trying to fuck my leg."

"Why do I have to be the one dying? You could be dying."

"You wouldn't take advantage of me."

"And you would?"

"Fuck, yes." Jones slides a hand back and brushes his fingers over Dan's arsehole, still slick and sore. "I'd be proper sorry in the morning, though, all 'woe!' and guilty. But then you'd--" He stops talking and lets out a low moan at Dan wrapping a hand around his cock, which is properly hard, hotter than the heater probably is, and wet at the tip.

"Then I'd what?" It's not often that Dan's the one doing the teasing because Jones is so inclined to it, and so good at it, but Dan's enjoying it right now.

"Mmm. Blow me in a fucking arctic hotel room and take me to the market in the morning for one of those sausage galette things Sandrine was on about?"

"I should make a crude joke about sausage here."

"We'll pretend you did," Jones says hoarsely, bucking into Dan's hand. "C'mon, my dick might freeze off if you don't."

"You could go back downstairs and complain. I'm sure Reception Girl would--"

"Fuck off, I want you." That's enough to get Dan under the blankets and taking Jones's cock into his mouth, and when Jones claws at his scalp and pulls his hair and says, "Aw, fuck, I love your tongue," Dan forgets to panic about the choice of words because he finally feels warm.

Date: 2010-08-01 06:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-reverand.livejournal.com
GAHWRITETHEMFOREVERPLEASE! So lovely, these two, and this was so hot, just fondling and fondling and all sore from earlier and cold and Star Trek blanketfic! :D

'oh, whorehouse, I've burnt the toast!'

HAhaha, I need to start saying that!

Have I already said "ohh, the fondling"? <3 This should keep eggy nice and warm! :D

Date: 2010-08-01 02:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] waqaychay.livejournal.com
GAHWRITETHEMFOREVERPLEASE!

i heartily second this sentiment. ;D

Date: 2010-08-01 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Hehehehe, thank you, sweetie! <3

Date: 2010-08-01 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
*fondles your comment*

I don't know what Jones was doing reading Star Trek slash! XD And I may or may not occasionally say "oh, whorehouse."

I really do want to write them forever! They make me all stupid and starry-eyed. <3

Date: 2010-08-01 07:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eggnogged.livejournal.com
Putain, am I ever glad I just took the time to check my friends page. o.O I should be sleeping since I have to be at the airport in 3 hours, but OMG so worth it! PLEASE KEEP WRITING THEM FOR EVER AND EVER.

Hmmmm, fondling under the blankets. Also, I love Jones saying he'd totally take advantage of Dan, hahah. XD

"Mmm. Blow me in a fucking arctic hotel room and take me to the market in the morning for one of those sausage galette things Sandrine was on about?"

OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. <3

And guh, that entire last line, so sweet and kind of sad but also very hot. Well done, you. *___*

I'll be in my bunk tent. You're awesome. <3

Date: 2010-08-01 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
YAYYYYY, you got to see it! :D I wish I'd been able to do something more you-specific, and longer and pornier, but it was made with love and I'm glad you liked it anyway. <3

You're long gone to aeroplane-land, but safe travels and bon voyage (and hurry back)! <3 <3

Date: 2010-08-01 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ftw302.livejournal.com
Wauugh oh this is very lovely to wake up to in the morning X_X!! I...love...this universe XD So much, this was so sweet (bittersweet?) and..yeah! EXCELLENT!

Date: 2010-08-01 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Definitely bittersweet, they have an angst-whore author writing them. XD Thanks, pretty! <3

Date: 2010-08-01 02:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] storyfan.livejournal.com
I should like to have Dan/Jones as a Yuletide request and I should like you to write it for me. OK, that's settled.

This is a fun little twist on the share-the-body-heat theme. I enjoyed everything about it, right down to the fact that the two of them even know enough French to communicate.

Was Jones reading Star Trek slash? Or is that just my hopeful imagination.

Date: 2010-08-01 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Haha, done and done! :D Although you know you don't have to wait for Yuletide? I am highly suggestible when it comes to these two.

Jones was totally reading Trek slash. I don't know why or how but it originated the blanketfic cliché so my brain always goes there. XD

Thank you, my dear! <3

Date: 2010-08-01 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silent-fields.livejournal.com
This was really nice and warm, but of course not without darkness at the edges, as it should be. If we ever get to meet Jones' Grandmother, I am very much looking forward to it.

Date: 2010-08-01 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thanks! :) And we're totally going to meet Gran at some point, but I'm still working her out.

Date: 2010-08-01 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mandybling.livejournal.com
Hawt as always.

Date: 2010-08-02 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
I wanted MOAR PORN than that, but glad you found it hot anyway! :D

Date: 2010-08-01 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unbelievable2.livejournal.com
Oh, lovely! Gentle and yet far from soppy.

And "Oh whorehouse, I've burnt the toast" has to be in common parlance from now on....

:D

Date: 2010-08-02 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Thanks! I agree that "oh, whorehouse!" should become more prevalent in the English lexicon. XD

Date: 2010-08-01 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tehfanglyfish.livejournal.com
Eeeee... Jones reads Trek slash!!! (He so should move on to DS9 as Garak/Bashir is way hotter than anything ToS could offer, IMO.)

I really love this series. Please write more.

Date: 2010-08-02 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Hahaha, he doesn't so much read it as stumbled on it somehow once, but I couldn't resist. XD I know next to nothing about DS9, sadly. :P

Thank you! There is definitely more coming.

Date: 2010-08-02 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctorpancakes.livejournal.com
Garak/Bashir! Now THERE'S Star Trek subtext for you.

Date: 2010-08-02 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctorpancakes.livejournal.com
Uhh, I had to stop and giggle and it was all I could do not to pee myself laughing for like five minutes at the bit where we find out that Jones has been reading Star Trek slash.

This is so sweet, and makes my heart do such enthusiastic backflips. I loveloveLOVE the way you write these two so freaking much.

*bows down*

Date: 2010-08-02 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
Hehehe, glad to give you a giggle. XD I couldn't resist it as that's where my mind always goes in the "we're freezing and must share body heat" scenario.

And I'm glad you liked it otherwise too, thank you! <3 <3 They make my heart kinda backflippy too.

Date: 2010-08-02 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luridlolly.livejournal.com
the dull sweet ache of Jones's hands on him and the lazy aimless kissing that might be what he misses the most when they're in London and don't always have the time for this, let alone opportunity. ...I need a minute alone with this line, don't mind me.....

Sexy and sweet and sad and probably other "s" words that I can't think of because my brain's gone a bit to pudding after reading this! Possibly because I keep thinking back to the ice sculpture Jones threatened to have sex with Dan against and trying to think about both fics at once is too much wonderful to handle *___________*

YOU. THIS. YES.

Date: 2010-08-02 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirstyrobot.livejournal.com
<3 <3 <3 Yeah, I can't scrub the ice sculpture from my brain either. XD I think they'd probably rather do it against a big old bonfire in this case, though! (ouch!)

I love that you love it, thank you! :D And I'll let you have your alone time now.

Date: 2010-08-02 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pitpony13.livejournal.com
This whole universe is amazing! Your writing is so lovely and believable. More please?

Date: 2010-08-03 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hazeloakleigh.livejournal.com
OH WHOREHOUSE!
Might be my new favourite saying.. XD.

This was great :) Very hotttt. And Jones snuggling up to Dan to keep warm painted the most adorable picture in my head.

Never stop writing. <3

Date: 2010-08-04 12:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laeta.livejournal.com
Just what I needed to warm up ♥

Date: 2010-08-04 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monooccularcat.livejournal.com
"I wonder what the specific heat of cock is."

*puts on safety goggles and white coat*

That's an experiment I'm in on.

Date: 2010-08-15 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lifeby-thedrop.livejournal.com
Oh how I love the way you write this pairing. More, more, more!

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